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For years they have been whispered about but rarely reported - sexual relationships between teacher and student. Now it appears such liaisons aren't as exceptional as we think, reports Melinda Houston. JANE was 16 when she first had sex with her art teacher. He was 26. "He said he loved me, but he said the decision had to be mine," Jane, now 25, recalls. "Of course, I said I wanted it. I thought he was giving me the power.I thought it made us equals.And at the time I felt like we were equal, that 10 years wasn't such a big age difference. Now I think it's not really about age, is it? He was my teacher." Secret histories like Jane's are suddenly being shared. The Gavin Hopper case has thrown a spotlight on the dark corners of the student-teacher relationship, and what it's shown up is often not very pretty. A lot of accusing fingers were pointed at Wesly College in the wake of the trial of Hopper, the Melbourne private schools former tennis coach found guilty of having a sexual relationship with a student who was just 14 at the start of their affair. How could it happen? people asked. What kind of school is this? But the reality is, when the news broke, headmasters all over Australia surely hoped their school wouldn't be next. There is a long history of teachers coming on to students, and vice versa. As the Hopper case ran, Wesley principal Helen Drennen issued a statement assuring parents and the wider community that "the duty of care policies and practices presently in place at Wesley to protect our children are equal to the best in any school. She says the school had procedures in place to ensure nothing like this could ever happen again. But how do you legislate against desire and weakness? In the week Hopper was found guilty talkback radio bristled with calls about similar incidents, What became clear was that student-teacher affairs aren't as exceptional as we think. But nor, as Jane would attest, is it harmless. As an adult, she has been unable to maintain any relationship beyond a few months. "I panic," she says. "I find it really, really hard to trust men. I get claustrophobic. I worry that I'll get myself into something I can't get out of." The lingering impact of her illicit relationship with a teacher is typical, according to one student welfare counsellor. "These relationships aren't uncommon, and they can be very damaging," she says. "I wouldn't be surprised if this (the Hopper case) opens the floodgates." In fact, we've already had another scandal. On August 17, Karen Ellis - a PE teacher, this time from a state high school - appeared in the Melbourne Magistrates Court, where she pleaded guilty to six counts of having sex with a child under 16. Ellis- a wife and mother of three - admitted she'd had sex with a 15-year- old mate student on six ocxasions between October and November last year. She will be sentenced in November. Just last year, another case was given a very public airing when the parents of a then 18-year- old woman revealed their daughter was in a relationship with her former English teacher, Jeff Sinclair, a married father-of-three, 33 years her senior The relationship began when the woman, Nicole Shackle, was just 15, although they insist it did not become sexual before she turned 16. Her parents say when they first reported their suspicions to Baulkham Hills High School in May 2000, it was dismissed as a "schoolgirl crush". But the following year Sinclair was removed from his teaching position and was last year dismissed from the teaching service. The couple are still together and now live in Stanmore, in Sydney's inner west. It would be wrong to say student-teacher sexual relationships are rife, but they're hardly unheard of either. The NSW Department of Education and Training (DET) says eight teachers have been dismissed from state schools in the past three years for having sexual contact with students. In Victoria, 10 teachers have been dismissed in that time for the same reason. And they're just the ones on the record. In some ways, it's not so extraordinary. Secondary schools are a hotbed of hormones. Teachers are often not very much older than their students. The temptation is there. "Of course you look at some of these gorgeous 17-18-year-old girls and your heart rate goes up," says one young English teacher from a prestigious private school "And yes, sometimes some of them get a bit flirty." And its not just female students and male teachers, either One former female teacher recalls being in high-school classrooms when she was 22, just a few years older than her students. I was never tempted, but I certainly understand the temptation being there," she says. MARITA McCabe, professor of clinical psychology at Deakin University, specialises in human sexuality. She says that as adolescents go through puberty and experience increased sexual urges, it's quite normal to direct those urges towards older people, such as TV and film stars, pop stars, athletes. And teachers. They get a crush on someone," McCabe says. "Then, in time, as they get older, they direct those urges more towards their peers." Young teenagers are unused to the idea of close relationships with the opposite sex, other than adults. Prior to their adolescent awakenings, girls have all been convinced that boys have germs, and vice versa. They can find it difficult to take these strange new feelings and connect them with the boy in the front row or the girl next door. "They have difficulty identifying and understanding these urges," McCabe says. "So it's safer to put them on to adults. Or it should be." Many secondary teachers have tales of a student showing them particular attention. One young student teacher, on his first teaching rounds, was confounded when one of his male students presented him with a love letter. Another former teacher, a woman, remembers one of her male students consistently hitting on her. "He'd say, 'Hey Miss, we should go out for a drink.'" By the time they're in their mid-teens, such urges are usually being directed in a more appropriate way, towards their peers. Unless, that is, something happens to derail the process. Sarah was 15 when she developed a crush on her teacher, who was then 40 and married. "From my point of view I started it," she says. It began as a crush, and she never thought it would go anywhere. But it did. "I used to meet him in his office. I was incredibly excited. I felt very grown up. But those months were also a bit of a haze. I used to run up to school and just wander around, not go to classes. He was the first guy I slept with, and that made it pretty confusing." This, too, is a common dynamic, according to McCabe. "What happens is the older person may well say, 'She threw herself at me,'" she says. "And she probably did. They're trying these new feelings out. They are flaunting themselves. They are making the moves. And adults are flattered by that, whether they're in their 20s, 30s, 40s, whatever. This very attractive, young, vibrant seductive person making moves on them. Sometimes they do succumb. And they justify it by saying, 'Well she started it. She wanted it.' But it's our job as adults to protect them. Clinical psychologist Andrew Fuller works extensively with adolescents and he's likened kids in those early teenage years to "a very powerful, juiced-up sports car with great acceleration, terrific lines, great sex appeal but very poor brakes..." This is the period in which we're creating ourselves as adults. "Identity formation is an incredibly important part of those adolescent years," Fuller says, "and if something happens to have a negative impact at that stage, it can create problems throughout your adult life." Many professional relationships where there is an imbalance of power (regardless of age) are governed by strict guidelines; psychologists, for example, are forbidden from entering sexual relationships with their clients for two years after the professional relationship ends (indeed, the AMA advises against sexual relationships with ex-patients at all). But schoolchildren are particularly vulnerable, and teachers in the state system are bound by both legal and ethical requirements. Anyone with knowledge of a sexual relationship between a teacher and a student must report it to the principal in the first instance, who then notifies the DETs Employee Performance and Conduct Unit. And, of course, having sex with a minor is simply illegal, a matter for the police. No one reported Sarah's relationship with her teacher, though. She ended the relationship after a few months herself. "I got a boyfriend," she says. "A proper one." But she kept in touch with the teacher. "I think it was my way of trying to work through what happened," she says. "He never felt guilt, and that used to enrage me because I felt so guilty." And long after contact ceased, the damage remained. "It has been a problem for me until quite recently says Sarah, now 30. "There's been a bit of therapy between then and now. I have had other affairs with older and married men. But I feel I have that under control now -after 10 years." THE GOOD news is that more is being done to protect schoolkids from predatory teachers, from their own worse instincts - and to protect teachers from theirs. Every public school student in NSW has access to one of the 790 school counsellors servicing our state schools. And all school counsellors in NSW public schools have teaching as well as psychology qualifications and experience, and specialist training as school counsellors. The DET also has stringent screening measures in place to ensure all staff, both teaching and non-teaching, who will be working within the school system are suitable to work with children. If we are to expect teachers to handle difficult sexual and emotional issues sensitively it is only fair they be trained to do so. And indeed, the subject is a core pan of teacher training these days. Every teacher in NSW public schools is required to undertake annual training, which is provided by the DET. This is comprehensive training in child protection policy, procedures and education and is separate to any ethics subject teachers are trained in as part of their university education. The DETs code of conduct also sets out some explicit rules: physical contact is permitted only to exercise effective classroom management and discipline. Teachers, in this case, can take reasonable action to protect a student or other students, or to comfon a distressed student. That's as much to protect teachers from claims of harassment as it is to protect students from inappropriate advances. From a legal standpoint it makes some sense. But the fact is, human relationships are not quite so black and white. Education is only partly about the dissemination of facts; a huge part of what we learn at school - perhaps the most important part - is about how to function in society how to form relationships (and end them), how to relate to each other. And as anyone lucky enough to form a close bond with a teacher during their high school years knows, what you team from that relationship can be just as important as anything you gain from the classroom. The Sun Herald (5-9-2004) Melinda Houston |
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